Was it my own fault?

One of the warst things, when life sucks, is the feeling, that it was my own fault. Well, sometimes it is true, but not always.
But no matter what, the feeling of guilt makes the burden more heavy, no one can deny that. You have all the troubles in your life, and then you even have the trouble of feeling guilty. It can be a really burden for the heart and make the problems harder to fight.
Well, even if it's true, it is your own fault, what's done is done, you can't call it back. Stop blaming yourself anyway, it will not solve the problem. You must face the thing now and fight it. If it is someone you have hurted, try to get things straight with that person. If the person won't forgive, it's not your problem, unforgiveness only hits the one, that won't forgive.
Make up for what you've done to the person, if it's possible.
And when you've done that, forget all about it and get along with your life.

When a loved one passes away

One of the main reason that life sucks is, that we don't live forever and loved ones passes awy. Sometimes they pass away too soon, unexpected, it can be deadly diseases, accidents, murder, you name it. You sit back in life and still has to live on, but now something is missing.

When old people pass away

When the loved one has come of age, we know that it will happen someday. We don't know when, but it will. Many people are very healthy even after eighty or ninety, that's when it is nice being old, and you can have a good time with the old loved one. But at that age it can suddenly come from one day to another. When you least expect it, the health can decrease, and the heart can stop. It often hurts, because it is unexpected,. even if you knew it was at that age, when it will happen someday.
When the old person has got real sick and is suffering, maybe they have turned senile, can't even remember their own children - then it sucks already, the one you knew is gone, only the body is back. Then death comes as a relief, and don't feel guilty about that.

When younger ones pass away

Most worse it is, when younger persons passes away. It's too soon and often unexpected. How hard it is to say the magical words in that situation. It seem so awful, so meaningless. The only thing I can say to the one, who has lost one: take time to grief now, it's the time of sorrow. Don't be brave, tell your friends and family about all your feelings. Don't be ashamed of shedding tears, it's a natural way to get the sorrow relieved.
Be also prepared, that the worst time after the tragic incident is from when you hear it until the funeral is over. Most people say, that when the ceremony is over and the body is in the grave, then the heart is a little bit lighter. The sorrow has not gone, but it is easier to bear. We have the ceremonies of funerals in all cultures, and I guess it is because we need this ceremony to say a kind of goodbye to the loved one and facing the truth, that he or she is no more.

Be also prepared for....

There can also be so much awful things right after. You have just lost someone, then you have to talk about practical things, what shall happen with the thing the late person owned. Lawyers will come and talk, and you can feel a bit sick of it. Hopefully you have one, that can help you with all these practical matters and can talk with you.
Also remember, that when you come to the year after it happened, then you will feel a pain at that date, you will say to yourself: this time last year it happened and feel the pain inside again. Don't worry, it's a normal reaction. Shed the tears you need. If the loved one was one you celebrated Christmas together with, then you must be prepared, that Christmas the same year he passed away will be a little bleak, filled with a longing. It's normal, shed your tears.
The worst thing about a passing away is, that you can't do anything with it. You'll have to live with it.

Overload with advices when life sucks

One of the problems when life sucks, at least when your friends and family know the problem, is the overload with advices, all the people telling what to do. You can't even get inside a door, then they start immediately.

Don't say advices everytime you see them.

I don't say, that all the advices you can say to a person in a crisis, are bad advices altogether, but you have to face, that not all people are alike, and even if it's the same person in a new crisis, not all situations are alike. So take care coming with advices all the time, especially if the person in crisis has not talked about the problem at all. May'be they just need to be together with someone without talking abort the problem, just have some fun or a talk about hobbies. So if you see a person coming through the door, who is unemployed, in a divorce, been widowed or has got a mental disease, don't start babbling about the problem immediately. Wait till the person talks about it, maybe asks for help. Many people in a kind of distress will feel, that the problem is getting worse by getting overloaded with advices all the time.

Examples of overloading advices

People with mental diseases often get the advices: "think positively, be of good cheer, don't be tooe selfoccupied." No matter how well meant it is, then it just makes the problem even worse, make them feel more bad. A mental disease is a disease the same way as a physical disease, so giving these advices is just like saying to one with a broken leg: "get yourself together and try to walk." Let the disease have it's time to cure and talk with them in a natural way.
People, who are unumployed, often gets advices: "how about seeking far away? How about trying to seek employment bureaus?" Maybe the unemployed have tried this in vain, when they must answer that they feel so negative. Let an unemployed be allowed to sit and talk about anything he wants.
People who has got through a divorce also can get advices. "Get along, find someone new." Don't say that immediately after the divorce, it is too early. They time to grief has to be allowed.
In short: allow the person in crisis to be normal!

When life sucks - start of the blog

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Very often life really sucks. Who has not had that experience - it starts early in the childhood.

Reasons that life sucks.

There can be many reasons.
You get a serious disease.
You get mobbed.
Some of your loved ones pass away.
You run into economical problems.
You have marital problems.
Your better half leaves you.
There's a crossroad in your life, where you must face some new truths.
Maybe that you're not so young anymore.
Maybe that you've had a failure.
Maybe that you should have spend more quality time with your family.

What the blog will be about

The lsit could be very long, but no matter what, when life sucks you often need someone to talk to.
You could also need an advice, but too much advising can make things worse.
I have an idea of making a phorum, where anyone in pain can come and talk with others, or if you have something to say to those in pain, you can come and say that.
At first I make this blog to find out how many people are interested. There'll be som reflections on life problems of many kiinds, and if I see, that I get a lot of traffic on the blog, I'll put up the forum.
So feel free to write a commentary and tell me what you think.